office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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