Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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