too bad you live with your parents still
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
