He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
