Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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