think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
