And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
