I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
