Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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