I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
