Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
