He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
