He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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