Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
