no, he came in my armpit
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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