I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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