i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
