I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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