just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
