I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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