Ambien. No doubt about it.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
