he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
