If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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