oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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