I got chris browned last night
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
