Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
