just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
