She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
