he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
