I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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