i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
