have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
