So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So. Much. Porn.
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