I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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