I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
