You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I CAN MOONWALK!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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