Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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