three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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