There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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