Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
