We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
