Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
