I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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