The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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