We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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