But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
