3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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