If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
