sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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