The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
