She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
