Betty ford says i'm here all night
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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