you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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