Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
