...so i touched it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize