lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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