how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
