Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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