these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
