im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
