He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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