His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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