so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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