Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize