Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
