Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
