Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
