I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
