FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize