Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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