Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
