Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
In America we eat man semen.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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